In these times of social networks, it seems easy to “connect” with others, exchange dreams and desires, profile photos and background information. However, despite such “easy” mechanisms to “know” others, you may find yourself alone, wanting to have an intimate relationship with someone “special”, but, unfortunately, does not seem to be able to update it. your wish.

So, what gets in your way? Is it so that, after all, there are not enough “others” in the singles group to choose from? Or could it be something in you that could hinder your ability to find the intimate relationship you crave?

Well, it’s easy and “comfortable” to believe that everything is a matter of not finding the “special” yet. It is convenient to think that “many out there” are simply inappropriate for you.

But is it really like that? Could it also be that something in you, after all, prevents you from finding “the only one”? And if this is the case, is there anything you can do about it?

And this “much” can be summed up in a sentence: you need to know yourself better; to understand what is what gets in your way from finding and cultivating a good intimacy; to realize what could have sabotaged your relationships until now.

You can call such a process “cognitive therapy” that will be in charge of pursuing everything by itself; or you can call this process “becoming aware,” which will bring to the surface the thinking and behavioral patterns that might have prevented you from having a successful relationship until now.

It all comes down to: are you willing, truly willing, to discover how you are with others? what your needs are, how could you resist cultivating a satisfying relationship; and, finally, how can you become aware of the many ways in which you could have sabotaged your relationships until now, unwittingly and unconsciously, and how to make a change for the better?

Taking responsibility is the name of the game. Take responsibility for your failures, as well as the responsibility to be self-aware and take the necessary steps to change any changes that occur.

Being responsible and self-aware does not necessarily mean that you should stop “knowing” other people on social networks. The opposite might even be true: as you work to become aware, each person you “know” can reflect something and “tell” something about you. With each one of the people you meet, you can realize the projections that you throw at them, and what makes you project those aspects and parts of yourself: are they jealous? Stubbornness? Stinginess? Shy? Vulnerability? Insecurity?

The more aware of yourself you become, the more you begin to observe yourself “as if you were on your side” and thus you realize how you behave and think and, consequently, what you need to change in your thinking, attitudes and behaviors to finally find and cultivate the successful intimate relationship you crave.